So, this is rape
by DandelionKing
Summary: Explicit 18 only. Season R, episode 87. While the sailor senshi attempt to rescue Chibi Usa, Prince Diamond captures Sailor Moon. A new and complex perspective on an infamous, reoccurring Sailor Moon/Diamond theme. The strongest character is the survivor.


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**18+ readers only! By reading this fanfiction you agree that you are 18 years of age or older and are aware that this fanfiction features adult content. If you are younger than 18 years old, do not read this fanfiction. **

This fanfiction takes place in episode 87 (R Season featuring the Dark Moon). Many thanks to Hitoshi Doi's Sailor Moon episode guides. Sailor Moon and its characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi and subsequent television and DVD licensers.

**WARNING! Explicit rape scene. I wrote this fanfiction because I was unsatisfied with other Diamond/Sailor Moon fics. I hope to have provided a new and complex perspective by the time you've reached the end. **

Prologue:

Chibi Usa (future daughter of Sailor Moon who is spending time training in the past) is kidnapped by Wiseman. She has been saturated with energy from the Dark Crystal, seduced by Wiseman's promises and lies, and turned into Dark Lady who fights against the Sailor Senshi.

Wiseman wants the Ginzuishou, also called the Silver Imperium Crystal. It is Sailor Moon's Heart Crystal and arguably the single most powerful magical item in the universe. To do this, he enlists the few remaining survivors of the Dark Moon Kingdom, seducing them with the power to have their darkest heart's desires and promising to help them with their quest to secure a life on Earth.

Prince Saffir (of the Dark Moon), learns of Wiseman's destructive plot and attempts to stop it. Because of this, Saffir is brutally attacked. Terribly injured, he narrowly escapes with his life, finding shelter at his sisters' hidden residence on Earth.

At the end of episode 86, Saffir returns, still visibly injured, and tries to warn his brother (Prince Diamond) that Wiseman is using lies to twist everything their family is working for (a life on Earth). Diamond wants to listen to his brother; however, Wiseman kills Saffir before that can happen. In justification, Wiseman claims that Saffir is a traitor. Sailor Moon kneels at Saffir's side, mourning his death. Diamond picks up his brother. Episode ends.

[Sometime in the future.]

_So, this is rape_.

[Episode 87 Begins: The Sailor Senshi are attempting to rescue Chibi Usa from the clutches of Wiseman and the Dark Crystal.

"Sailor Teleport!" _Chibi Usa, we're coming!_ Luna and Artemis disappear as my senshi and I materialize within the crystal fortress of the Dark Moon. _This place is pulsing with dark energy. We should to stick together. _Just as I think this, Mercury is breaking away from the group. "Mercury, wait!" I call out. However, my voice is swallowed as the floor disappears beneath my feet. My stomach is in my throat, I'm falling!

[Now separated from her senshi]

_Where am I?_ A shadow moves. "Welcome, my Serenity." A sinister look, boyish arrogance, corrupted power. "Diamond!" the name escapes my startled lips. Moving quickly, his hands are grasping my arms an instant later. "No more of this chasing. Your love and loyalty, swear them to me!" A deranged man with a young face. Fantasy, delusions, longing, denial, obsession… _what sort of love can be demanded? What is a love-_ my thoughts become interrupted, strung out. A dull, padded feeling sits in their place.

Diamond's third eye opens, unleashing his oppressive, hypnotic will. A dark power, weighty and thick, fills her limbs as quickly as her strength and senshi powers drain from her body. Save for the in and out of erratic breathing, the thump thump thump of a frightened heartbeat, Sailor Moon is paralyzed. "Swear it!" Diamond's voice requires, his body close to her body, his lips close to her ear.

"I swear" the words leave my mouth, a mouth that feels very far away, a voice that is familiar, sounding like my own. A heavy apathy weighs down my resistance, the sound of his voice calls forth my submission. _My submission?_ The thought floats away, as though insulated and carried off in the ripples of a pond.

A pair of lips cover mine, wanting, taking. Something in me stirs at this intrusion. A tear runs down my cheek. _Mamo-chan. _The thought leaves my lips, carried to the ears of this Dark Moon prince.

"You are mine!" An enraged voice shrieks. Fog leaves my brain as he violently shakes me about. "I love you and I will make you mine!" "Even if you have your way, this cannot be real love! What is a love devoid of empathy and compassion? Without the will to be good to another?" My eyes lift. A stupid mistake! That third eye draws me in once again. _You'll have this corpse? A doll? Oh Diamond…_ The ache of sorrow for this lost prince is dulled and lost with everything else. Time, sluggish, missing, irrelevant. It means nothing.

_What is a love devoid of empathy and compassion, the will to be good to another?_

Pain! I am aware of my existence; fuzzy images of me, removed from myself come back in padded, nauseating waves. My skin is warm wherever it meets skin. I become uncomfortably aware of my body as it experiences another go of piercing pain.

A form above me, an alabaster chest interrupted by an unbuttoned black shirt, an arm disappears from view, nestled between my legs. Sharp fingers probing my body in private places.

"You're tight." Diamonds voice, incredulous. "How could he have had you all this time and never once…" his voice tapered off. "Ha!" He began to laugh. His deep velvety voice displayed his amused delight. He knelt between my bare legs, head dipping down. The terrible part was how very aware I was of every touch, so very new, heightened by this territory of the unknown. I wanted to squeeze my legs together, to push him away. I could command my sluggish body only so much as to look away. Lips brushed my thigh, followed by teeth dragging over skin. Gooseflesh spread rapidly over me. Diamond's tongue played and tasted and invaded these places I had not yet ventured to explore. Between school, and friends, and saving the world.. yes, there was Mamoru _Mamo-chan_… the thought echoed. But, this hadn't…we hadn't… I hadn't… there were so many other things to think about. I just hadn't. And now…

The sound of a zipper dragging down. _Just like regular clothes._ An innocuous thought. I was in my body and not. I felt like I was hovering three inches outside of myself. "My Queen. I'll have you now." His lips brushed my belly, then began to suck on the skin as he guided himself elsewhere.

Pressure and pain blossomed at his slow entrance. I could not shake my disbelief. He groaned, his sucking lips now against my collar bone. One hand on my hip, the other leaving himself and snaking under my arm, he grasped my shoulder while pushing the rest of the way in. He panted into my neck. The place between my legs felt too full, like I would tear, like I _had_ torn. He was unbearably close to every inch of me. _It is only a body._ The thought came just as I felt the shock subside and the panic begin to bubble up, filling my lungs to scream. I swallowed it. Only a small sob escaped. He slowly began to move.

_So, this is rape._ It wasn't a question. I just never thought I would experience it; but, here I was and this was happening. I could feel every hitch in his breath, every _urg_ pulse from the part of his body inside of me. There was still the part of me that wanted to scream, to shout, to rip at his hair, to cry, to wail. That part of me was in disbelief. This part of me, calmly analytical, even as tears streamed down my face, this part of me was not in disbelief, nor was it giving any ground. _This sad man… he would stun me, hypnotize me, paralyze me in order to dominate me. He wants to have me. He has nothing but a doll._ Yes, it was unnerving to feel my body reacting, revulsion, pleasure, pain. These mixed repeatedly as he moved inside of me, hips grinding into hips, as his lips found my ear, my neck, my lips… _I will never give you my shame! _

Quicker now, his movements and my breath. His eyes less focused on me, he was somewhere else, lost in his own body and the sensations therein. He was grunting and gasping. Small sounds escaped me, even as I tried to hold them in. Then his hand was on my face, grabbing my chin, forcing me to look into his face as he violated me. His rhythm faltered, his eyes wavered then slammed shut. His face contorted and he grasped my shoulders, pulling our bodies tightly together. I felt horrible things, the whole terrible truth of his pleasure spilling into me. And I laughed.

I laughed even as snot was running over my lips from all of the silent crying I had done. His face of ecstasy interrupted, tense now, vulnerable, confused. But I couldn't stop myself. I laughed for pain, for misery − his, and my sadness for him. I laughed to rid myself of all the powerlessness I felt. Startled, some of his hold on me, that dark energy, relented. I held his cheek in my hand, my soft laughter subsiding as I looked pityingly into his blue, blue eyes. Raising my lips to his, I kissed him softly. My compassion welling to the surface to sit with my revulsion.

"You wanted _this_?" I motioned to our sweat-covered bodies, still entwined. "You've satisfied your lust in your hand for all that there was anyone else here but you." Bold words. The boldest I had ever spoken. Fresh tears poured down my face. He had never had a Mamo-chan or a Chibi Usa chan, nor anyone else like them to show him love and support. This was sex. It was skin, and mouths, and bodies. It was empty without a soul to warm it. He wasn't going to find what he wanted here, whether that was love, or ultimate power over me, or some completion of his identity as a prince.

"My Queen?" His voice faltered his pitch somewhere between angry and shocked. "I am not your queen. At best you've taken this body as your doll." His face turning red now. "You're mine!" he howled "You belong to me! If I have to take you every –"You've never taken me!" I shouted, interrupting. Then I gathered my courage. "All you have is this shell you've immobilized; nothing else is within your reach and never will be!"

Enraged, he pushed my arms painfully into the bed. One of his hands found my throat. I panicked, scrabbling to push him off of me. "I'll show you! You're mine! You'll never belong to anyone else! No one will touch this body but me, you'll love only me! You are mine!" He was frantic now, cutting off my air supply. He was trying to push himself back inside of me, but his body had gone soft. In his rage he slapped me, hard. Pulling back he slapped me again while I coughed and choked for air. My lungs burned. My face stung as the beating ensued. He couldn't touch me. There was nothing he could ever do to touch me.

He resumed choking me and consciousness slipped away.

[Some time later.]

"Kill her." My eyes opened. My head pounded and my face was puffy and smarted. My neck felt bruised. Blankets covered my body. _Ugh_! My body was so sore. Memory flooded back. Panic rushed in with it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _Nothing can touch me. _I thought, even as disbelief began to mingle with the growing awareness of the places where my body _really_ hurt.

_No! _I pushed the panic down with my resolve. _Nothing important can be taken without being given. Ground is what I have here. Ground is what I'll hold. _ Perhaps all of my sailor speeches rubbed off, so that even here I could wax poetical. But it was true; I would make it true. The more I determined to define for myself the significance of what had happened, the more the panic subsided. The more I felt in control of myself.

"You must kill her, Diamond, or she will undo our plans." Wiseman insisted. "I will not." Diamond stood his ground.

"Why are you determined to destroy everything?" I startle myself with the sound of my voice. The words come out before I am fully cognizant of what I want to say. But they are simple, and honest, and what I would have said if given more thought. Wiseman and Diamond go still at the sound of me speaking.

I am surprised when, after what feels like a long, tense pause, Diamond replies, "We only want to live on the Earth. We've been driven out! If our people could co-exist…but they can't…" Diamond tapers off.

"That isn't true! Saffir knew and died for the knowledge!" I say, trying to sit up. Diamond's eyes widen. I cringe and recoil as pain engulfs me. _My ribs, what happened to my ribs?_ I begin to wonder the extent to which he beat me after I lost consciousness. When I refocus, disbelief has filled his expression. His eyes are riveted to my face, roaming, seeing its swollen features. To my utter disbelief his eyes fall to the floor, something akin to shame in his posture.

"Look at yourself!" He mumbles. "Isn't it true though? Isn't it so true?" He challenges.

"Look at your own self!" I call his attention. "You think this," I gesture to my face and body "is supposed to be part of the plan?" I pause, hoping it sinks in. "You've never wondered why Wiseman - " I stop. Diamond's whole body has begun to shake. "Saffir." He whispers under his breath, covering his mouth. I can imagine: First, his beloved younger brother. Now, the woman that he loves. The images of our abused bodies merging.

Wiseman, furious, interjects upon the moment, "You must kill-" Just as soon, however, there is rapid motion and confusion. A duel of magic so quick that I cannot follow it. Wiseman crumples as the weight of Diamond's attack hits him. Then Diamond too collapses.

"Diamond!" I am tripping nakedly over blankets until I am beside him, his head cradled in my lap. Marble floors are cold under me. _I have always been heart over head._

Everything has happened too rapidly since I awoke, a flurry of chaos. _He is dead._ I think. I feel a deep sadness welling up. _I didn't want this when I came here. _This place, this tainted place with its dark energy, a few brainwashed minions, all that is left of an entire people. _No dark power could force him to do what he did to me. Such energy can only motivate us to do what we are already capable of doing. But I did not want this, not your death. I wanted to rescue Chib Usa and someday help you be free of this place._ _Free to find real love. _

I startle as he stirs against me. "I couldn't see through his lies…" His hand brushes my swollen face. "It's all gone because I couldn't see. Now, look what I've done…my love."

Wiseman stirs as well.

"There is hope! My sisters on Earth! Sailor Moon, please take care of them!" He touches my face for a moment. And then to my horror his arm falls and his body goes slack. He is really dead this time. He's dead. "Diamond?" I call. "Diamond?"

In the midst of this up and down roller coaster, a noise sharply turns my attention. "No-Aack!" Wiseman's hand closes over the bruises on my throat. "Give me the Ginzuishou! You really think you're worthy of it? You think you'll be strong enough to wield it all alone?" Images project into my mind, Mamoru and Chibi Usa, shunning me, shutting me out. His grip loosens as he laughs. "You think he wants you now?" He laughs louder. All of the sadness, all of the pain, all of the overwhelming things I have felt are melting into one, blazing emotion. I am becoming. very. very. Angry! An image comes to me, of Chibi Usa asking me to save her mother.

"You both thought that this body mattered? As if it were a portal into my soul? But only if I let you people in, and I'm never letting you in! I'M NEVER LETTING YOU IN!" Pushing Wiseman away with all of my strength, I stand on wobbly legs.

There is hardly time to do more, however, as dark energy gathers around the seething Wiseman "DIE!" He screams. A rose cuts into the path of the dark energy, just as it is coming towards me.

"An evil that uses magic to confuse the minds of innocent girls. I will not forgive you.*" Tuxedo Kamen announces. He turns towards me and freezes. His eyes widen at the sight of my naked, beaten self. The other senshi appear. I can see everything on his face. This is battle. There is no time now. Process everything later! Together the group vies to create a strong front.

Wiseman only laughs. "It's too late!" Dark energy swirls around the Black Crystal. "The end is coming through this portal. Darkness will devour your world!"

Eyes widening, Tuxedo Kamen calls out in distress, "We have to seal this place to protect the Earth!" Jupiter lifts my unsteady, naked body into her arms and runs with the others.

"Chibi Usa? Where is Chibi Usa?" I cry out, frantically. As though summoned by my words, dark clouds fill the room. Chibi Usa, now as Dark Lady, sits atop the Black Crystal. I scream for her, but the world descends into a void as we teleport away.

[Back on Earth, a short amount of time has elapsed.]

It is the early hours of the morning, still dark outside. Ami is tending my wounds, most of them. Mamoru is so distraught he sits in the armchair in my room, staring at the wall. His words from earlier run through my mind. _An evil that uses magic to confuse the minds of innocent girls… innocent girls? _I feel that I had lived in a silly world before, where we fought for love and justice and I had believed in things like innocence….and virginity…

_Innocent._ My thoughts played over that word again and again. Diamond thought he could "take me". Wiseman really believed that I would now fear being shunned. And Mamoru, my sweet Mamoru... He felt he could and even needed to protect my "innocence"? But there was nothing Diamond could take from me, nothing I should fear being shunned for, and innocence was just an idea, something someone could never really lose. So, while I loved Mamoru dearly, I realized there had been an assumption, mine, his, etc. that I had an innocence that he needed to protect. But, as I thought more about things, there was never such a thing that I needed him to protect. Maybe I was weird. Maybe I was in shock. But aside from being shaken up, the only thing that felt injured was my body. I felt, surprisingly and resolutely, stronger than I had ever felt in my life. Maybe I really was in shock. But I had a feeling that in the long run I was going to be just fine.

I turned my thoughts outward._ Chibi Usa, I will find you! _

My shoulders began to shake as great sobs wracked my body, working to purge me of all of the recent insanity and chaos, working to express the grief and loss I felt for Chibi Usa, for Diamond, and for so many people I had never met.

References:

1) Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R, episode 86 - 87. Naoko Takeuchi and TOEI Animation.

2) * A direct quote from Hitoshi Doi's Sailor Moon episode guides. . (Accessed September 29, 2010).


End file.
